Worries

Written March 16, 2015
I don't really know how to get around this issue: I keep worrying that I'm going to miscarry again despite the ever improving statistics.  Did you know there's no magic in reaching week 12?  Statistically the rate of miscarriage drops gradually throughout the 1st trimester.  By week 11 only 2 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage, down from 3 percent in week 10 - though these percentages vary based on other factors such as age.  Still, it happened once, about this time last year, and as a result, I worry about it pretty much constantly, but especially on the days when I feel really good.  Then a day or two later I can't keep myself from throwing up first thing in the morning and take that as a sign that my pregnancy must be progressing normally :-)

I have my first big appointment where the mid-wife I'm seeing will do an ultrasound and a full body exam on Thursday.  I'm quite nervous about it.  I seem to have white coat hypertension, which means my blood pressure measures kind of high when I'm at the doctor basically no matter what I do, though it's never technically been outside the normal range.  I'm pretty sure I don't actually have high blood pressure.  Oddly enough it measures fine when I'm at the dentist, I suspect because my close relationship with a former dental hygienist makes the dentist a more pleasant trip for me.  Anyway, I'm worried about my appointment generally, so also worried that my BP will be sky-high, and worried about having to explain everything on top of that.  It's enough worry that I'm almost not looking forward to my appointment.  I'm mainly looking forward to having it over!

Still, it will be good to have some questions answered like: how far along exactly are we?  Then we'll know when we can share this news will all our friends and family!