We had our 16 week appointment on Tuesday. It amazes me how I can feel my blood pressure rise as soon as I get in the car to go. I was excited to go to this appointment, but apparently my subconscious really does't like going to the doctor. Still, I didn't quite hit the high blood pressure range, so they're just tracking it.
It was a fun appointment. Our midwife asked if we were interested in knowing the gender, which we are, and offered to do an ultrasound. Or course we wanted to do an ultrasound, but before she could do that, I had to take my belly button ring out so it wouldn't interfere with the ultrasound. I got my belly button ring back in June 2002 to celebrate my crew boat making it to nationals that year. I haven't taken it out since then. The midwife had to pull out the pliers to get the top ball to unscrew from the post. After that it slipped out no problem. She said I could put it back in, but I'd always intended to take my belly button ring out when I got pregnant, so out it will stay. It's so weird to look at my belly without it.
Our little one was as stubborn as his/her parents and refused to show us what we wanted to see, so we'll wait 4 more weeks until our big anatomy scan to get the official answer on gender (we hope). I was advised to drink orange juice 30 minutes before the next appointment to get the baby moving :-) We did get to hear and SEE the heart beating with all the separate chambers of the heart - it was so cool! For those who know stuff about this or want to bet on old wives' tales the heart rate was 160 bpm. It's amazing how much the kid has grown since our last ultrasound!
Friday, April 24, 2015
Sunday, April 19, 2015
The Comforting Effect of Nausea, or, Why I Might Be a Horrible Husband
There was no excitement during the first trimester, only anxiety. Despite the fact that we had been trying just long enough to start getting frustrated, the positive pregnancy test didn’t come as a relief. We still wanted to have a kid just as much as last year, but I think our reaction was a defense mechanism to avoid another major disappointment. I can’t imagine how couples handle multiple miscarriages.
The most striking difference between last year and this year has been Joanna’s morning sickness. Perversely, and we managed to joke about this, I found it reassuring every time she threw up. Not that I enjoyed the nightly tooth-brushing gag-fest, but it’s amazing what you get used to. Eventually we found a passage in a pregnancy book about a husband being comforted by his wife’s morning sickness, and I felt like less of an ass.
It’s easy to see how pregnancy and parenthood generate extremely strong opinions based on a totally unrepresentative sample size. When I compare Joanna’s two pregnancies, it just makes sense that something wasn’t right last year, whereas now things must be going well because she’s feeling all the traditional symptoms. Then again, I’ve talked to people recently who had perfectly healthy babies without the sickness, cravings or aversions, which helps to keep my theorizing in check.
The first ultrasound was the first truly reassuring point of this pregnancy. The baby turned out to be about a week and a half further along than we expected, and the contrast from last year’s ultrasound was astounding. The baby was active and much more fully formed, all of which was immediately apparent. Still, the ultrasound was before twelve weeks, so all it really did was ease the anxiety a little bit.
The scare in Stockholm was ultimately what made me feel better. Joanna told me at the end of dinner that we needed to go to the hospital, and I immediately felt my stomach drop. After six hours in the ER - seven if you count the hour lost to daylight savings time - the ultrasound put an end to our concerns that night and our reservations throughout the first trimester. As the image came up on the screen, we could see the baby moving vigorously. Then the wonderful German/Swedish doctor explained what had probably happened - rapid placental development can cause worrisome symptoms - which also proved incredibly reassuring.
After that trip I made a couple of dumb comments about socialized health care. I don’t know why exactly since I’m not opposed to it, but I’m an American, so there you go. Our Swedish hospital visit was vastly better than some of our other recent health care experiences. The ER wait wasn’t much longer than usual, the doctor was excellent and we were quickly billed a shockingly small amount. There are other parts of Stockholm I would rather have seen than the Gyn-Akut clinic at Danderyds Hospital, but the end result was that on Sunday morning we were both excited about actually having a kid rather than scared so much about another miscarriage.
Maternity Clothes
L and I are finding that we get a bit of unsolicited advice about pregnancy and having kids. We don't mind at all, and find it interesting what information different friends and family members feel is most important to convey. Sometimes we even ask for advice from those who are too polite to offer it unsolicited.
A couple of weeks ago I received what I consider to be very wise advice from a pregnant friend: "Don't wait to buy maternity pants until your pants don't fit anymore. Buy them as soon as your waist band starts to get uncomfortable."
I reached that point about a week and a half ago. Even the waist band on my loose-fit, comfort jeans was uncomfortably digging into me after a full day of wear, so at 14 and 1/2 weeks into this thing, I headed to the store and upgraded to maternity jeans. They're a little uncomfortable too as they are still a little too big and I find myself constantly hiking them back up, but I am so glad I followed my friend's advice.
Otherwise, I've started feeling much better and my energy level is back up. I am enjoying coffee again and even a few sips of wine here and there :-) We hit 16 weeks yesterday, so I should start feeling the baby move soon!
A couple of weeks ago I received what I consider to be very wise advice from a pregnant friend: "Don't wait to buy maternity pants until your pants don't fit anymore. Buy them as soon as your waist band starts to get uncomfortable."
I reached that point about a week and a half ago. Even the waist band on my loose-fit, comfort jeans was uncomfortably digging into me after a full day of wear, so at 14 and 1/2 weeks into this thing, I headed to the store and upgraded to maternity jeans. They're a little uncomfortable too as they are still a little too big and I find myself constantly hiking them back up, but I am so glad I followed my friend's advice.
Otherwise, I've started feeling much better and my energy level is back up. I am enjoying coffee again and even a few sips of wine here and there :-) We hit 16 weeks yesterday, so I should start feeling the baby move soon!
Sunday, April 12, 2015
Excitement in Stockholm
Written April 2, 2015
We had a fantastic visit to Stockholm last weekend. The weather was a little cool, but the sun was shining which was great for walking around and exploring the city. We enjoyed a cruise through the archipelago, a visit to the Vasa Museum, and wandering through the old town.
Unfortunately, as we were finishing up dessert at a nice little Swedish restaurant I noticed a little problem which I had previously been instructed necessitated a trip to the ER: "Akuten" in Swedish. My heart immediately began to race as I told L what was going on. L took care of the bill as quickly as possible and we headed outside. We called our overseas insurance line and were told under the circumstances that we could go to any hospital, but we picked the one closest to our hosts' home, hopped in a cab, and headed to the Akuten as quickly as possible. When we got there we were informed that we actually needed to go to a special Akuten call the Gyn-Akut for women. I thought this sounded great because surely we would be seen more quickly in a specialized emergency care clinic. I was wrong.
We arrived around 9:30 PM. We finally got to talk to a mid-wife around 10:00 where they took my personal info and did some tests. I even got my own ID number for the Swedish national health system. We did find that everyone in Stockholm spoke English flawlessly except at the hospital.
After the interview we were given what can best be described as a cubicle with a mobile hospital bed and a chair. We were told openly that it had been an insane evening and that the mid-wives had no idea when we might be able to see a doctor. We had no plans to go anywhere, but as midnight rolled around, and then 1:00 and 2:00 AM, we questioned whether it was worth it to stay or if we should just come back in the morning. We stayed of course, I slept a little, and finally about 4:30 AM we were called back by a doctor. She was a very kind doctor originally from Germany who spoke perfect English. She asked how I was doing and then quickly moved on to the ultrasound to put our minds at ease. We could immediately see the baby moving around like it was dancing at a rock show and were quickly comforted. The doctor also checked my cervix, and everything was fine there too. She explained what had likely happened and why we didn't need to worry. It was so different from our ER experience a year ago. After we finished in the gyn-akut, we called our host and he graciously came to pick us up. We finally got to go to sleep around 6:00 AM.
L received the bill yesterday. It came to a total of 3200 SEK, or $372. Our insurance will pay the bill in full, but I am so surprised by how low it is. I've had a few ER trips in my life, so I know that $372 is a steal. We did have an abnormally long wait to see a doctor, but the care was excellent and the price was incredible - it wouldn't have cost anything if we were Swedish residents. I'd say our first experience with "socialized medicine" was generally positive despite the wait. Is it possible that those countries with socialized systems have figured out the trick to having low cost high quality care? Perhaps, but mostly we're just really happy that everything was ok.
We had a fantastic visit to Stockholm last weekend. The weather was a little cool, but the sun was shining which was great for walking around and exploring the city. We enjoyed a cruise through the archipelago, a visit to the Vasa Museum, and wandering through the old town.
Unfortunately, as we were finishing up dessert at a nice little Swedish restaurant I noticed a little problem which I had previously been instructed necessitated a trip to the ER: "Akuten" in Swedish. My heart immediately began to race as I told L what was going on. L took care of the bill as quickly as possible and we headed outside. We called our overseas insurance line and were told under the circumstances that we could go to any hospital, but we picked the one closest to our hosts' home, hopped in a cab, and headed to the Akuten as quickly as possible. When we got there we were informed that we actually needed to go to a special Akuten call the Gyn-Akut for women. I thought this sounded great because surely we would be seen more quickly in a specialized emergency care clinic. I was wrong.
We arrived around 9:30 PM. We finally got to talk to a mid-wife around 10:00 where they took my personal info and did some tests. I even got my own ID number for the Swedish national health system. We did find that everyone in Stockholm spoke English flawlessly except at the hospital.
After the interview we were given what can best be described as a cubicle with a mobile hospital bed and a chair. We were told openly that it had been an insane evening and that the mid-wives had no idea when we might be able to see a doctor. We had no plans to go anywhere, but as midnight rolled around, and then 1:00 and 2:00 AM, we questioned whether it was worth it to stay or if we should just come back in the morning. We stayed of course, I slept a little, and finally about 4:30 AM we were called back by a doctor. She was a very kind doctor originally from Germany who spoke perfect English. She asked how I was doing and then quickly moved on to the ultrasound to put our minds at ease. We could immediately see the baby moving around like it was dancing at a rock show and were quickly comforted. The doctor also checked my cervix, and everything was fine there too. She explained what had likely happened and why we didn't need to worry. It was so different from our ER experience a year ago. After we finished in the gyn-akut, we called our host and he graciously came to pick us up. We finally got to go to sleep around 6:00 AM.
L received the bill yesterday. It came to a total of 3200 SEK, or $372. Our insurance will pay the bill in full, but I am so surprised by how low it is. I've had a few ER trips in my life, so I know that $372 is a steal. We did have an abnormally long wait to see a doctor, but the care was excellent and the price was incredible - it wouldn't have cost anything if we were Swedish residents. I'd say our first experience with "socialized medicine" was generally positive despite the wait. Is it possible that those countries with socialized systems have figured out the trick to having low cost high quality care? Perhaps, but mostly we're just really happy that everything was ok.
The 1st Appointment
Written March 19, 2015
It's been an emotional day! I was so anxious this morning that I cried on my way to my appointment, which was maybe not so bad because it seemed to calm me down before my appointment and the med-tech and mid-wife didn't have anything to say about my blood pressure or my weight. Both seemed a little high to me but not terrible, so I didn't say anything either :-)
It's been an emotional day! I was so anxious this morning that I cried on my way to my appointment, which was maybe not so bad because it seemed to calm me down before my appointment and the med-tech and mid-wife didn't have anything to say about my blood pressure or my weight. Both seemed a little high to me but not terrible, so I didn't say anything either :-)
The mid-wife we saw was fantastic. She was very personable and immediately relatable. Turns out we're the same age and both had bad car accidents our senior year of high school. We had a good laugh about having to go to dances with casts and bruises.
Anyway, we got to the exam part and the ultrasound part and everything looked really good. The baby was very active. It was very reassuring, and as it turns out we're a week further into this pregnancy than we thought. We're at 11 weeks 5 days with a due date of October 3, 2015!
What's great about finding out we're further along than we thought is that the first trimester is almost over and I should start feeling a lot better soon. Also, there's a lot of relief that comes with knowing we've made it through the period of highest miscarriage risk - a LOT of relief.
Here's one of our ultrasound prints:
Worries
Written March 16, 2015
I don't really know how to get around this issue: I keep worrying that I'm going to miscarry again despite the ever improving statistics. Did you know there's no magic in reaching week 12? Statistically the rate of miscarriage drops gradually throughout the 1st trimester. By week 11 only 2 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage, down from 3 percent in week 10 - though these percentages vary based on other factors such as age. Still, it happened once, about this time last year, and as a result, I worry about it pretty much constantly, but especially on the days when I feel really good. Then a day or two later I can't keep myself from throwing up first thing in the morning and take that as a sign that my pregnancy must be progressing normally :-)
I have my first big appointment where the mid-wife I'm seeing will do an ultrasound and a full body exam on Thursday. I'm quite nervous about it. I seem to have white coat hypertension, which means my blood pressure measures kind of high when I'm at the doctor basically no matter what I do, though it's never technically been outside the normal range. I'm pretty sure I don't actually have high blood pressure. Oddly enough it measures fine when I'm at the dentist, I suspect because my close relationship with a former dental hygienist makes the dentist a more pleasant trip for me. Anyway, I'm worried about my appointment generally, so also worried that my BP will be sky-high, and worried about having to explain everything on top of that. It's enough worry that I'm almost not looking forward to my appointment. I'm mainly looking forward to having it over!
Still, it will be good to have some questions answered like: how far along exactly are we? Then we'll know when we can share this news will all our friends and family!
I don't really know how to get around this issue: I keep worrying that I'm going to miscarry again despite the ever improving statistics. Did you know there's no magic in reaching week 12? Statistically the rate of miscarriage drops gradually throughout the 1st trimester. By week 11 only 2 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage, down from 3 percent in week 10 - though these percentages vary based on other factors such as age. Still, it happened once, about this time last year, and as a result, I worry about it pretty much constantly, but especially on the days when I feel really good. Then a day or two later I can't keep myself from throwing up first thing in the morning and take that as a sign that my pregnancy must be progressing normally :-)
I have my first big appointment where the mid-wife I'm seeing will do an ultrasound and a full body exam on Thursday. I'm quite nervous about it. I seem to have white coat hypertension, which means my blood pressure measures kind of high when I'm at the doctor basically no matter what I do, though it's never technically been outside the normal range. I'm pretty sure I don't actually have high blood pressure. Oddly enough it measures fine when I'm at the dentist, I suspect because my close relationship with a former dental hygienist makes the dentist a more pleasant trip for me. Anyway, I'm worried about my appointment generally, so also worried that my BP will be sky-high, and worried about having to explain everything on top of that. It's enough worry that I'm almost not looking forward to my appointment. I'm mainly looking forward to having it over!
Still, it will be good to have some questions answered like: how far along exactly are we? Then we'll know when we can share this news will all our friends and family!
Reasonable Quantities
Written March 9, 2015
My reasonably sized B6 vitamins arrived about a week ago. I didn’t bother taking just the B6 and immediately combined it with a half tab of Unisom. RELIEF! I’m still not 100%. I still felt “unsettled” and I still threw up this past week, but I’m a lot better than I was. I take the B6 and Unisom each night before bed. I suspect the B6 has very little to do with why I feel better and the Unisom before bed has everything to do with it. I’m sleeping much better than I have the past few weeks.
My reasonably sized B6 vitamins arrived about a week ago. I didn’t bother taking just the B6 and immediately combined it with a half tab of Unisom. RELIEF! I’m still not 100%. I still felt “unsettled” and I still threw up this past week, but I’m a lot better than I was. I take the B6 and Unisom each night before bed. I suspect the B6 has very little to do with why I feel better and the Unisom before bed has everything to do with it. I’m sleeping much better than I have the past few weeks.
I learned about this B6+Unisom combination in a book I read called Expecting Better by Emily Oster, though both are also mentioned separately as “approved” for nausea on the medication list I received from my OB clinic. Turns out the combination is actually approved by the FDA and is sold as a prescription in the UK. Anyway, great book that I highly recommend for people like me who like to have things explained clearly in terms of facts and data instead of just being told “the rules” and being expected to abide by them without any background even when “the rules” don’t make sense. That’s all I’ll say other than of course, one book by an associate economics professor shouldn’t replace all of your learned doctor’s guidance, but I still think it’s a good tool taken with a grain of salt.
Otherwise, it sure is hard keeping this a secret. I couldn’t play in the CRUD tournament Friday night, but of course I wanted to watch L play and to watch my R teams play so I attended anyway. Getting around explaining why I wasn’t playing was a challenge. The actual answer: no contact sports when you’re pregnant – especially not contact sports that could result in your abdomen being slammed hard into the side of a CRUD table. In addition we’re making plans with family for vacation this summer, and how do you explain that you might not be able to participate in activities like kayaking that you would normally be super excited about? Also, I would never refuse wine simply because I was concerned it would keep me from getting over jet lag - that might have been the hardest one.
Morning Sickness
Written February 25, 2015
Ugh. I’ve been feeling so sick. No foods sound good – not even chocolate chip cookies. I’ve thrown up a bit too. This can’t be normal. I was not even close to this sick last year. How long does it take for an order from Amazon to get here???? I’m really counting on that B6. Unfortunately, our local stores only sell vitamin B6 in ridiculous dosages – who needs 100mg or 5000% of the recommended daily value of vitamin B6? I’m especially not allowed to take that much cause of the whole pregnancy thing. I’m supposed to take not more than 25mg at a time and not more than 75mg in a day per the OB clinic here. The point is: why are vitamins so often only available in stupid proportions? The real point is: I feel awful and I can’t do anything about it. The good news is they say they sickness typically peaks around 9 weeks – that’s only 2 weeks away But it will end. At some point it must end. Until then I do my best to get through each day eating as much healthy food as I can choke down and try not to rely too heavily on crackers.
Ugh. I’ve been feeling so sick. No foods sound good – not even chocolate chip cookies. I’ve thrown up a bit too. This can’t be normal. I was not even close to this sick last year. How long does it take for an order from Amazon to get here???? I’m really counting on that B6. Unfortunately, our local stores only sell vitamin B6 in ridiculous dosages – who needs 100mg or 5000% of the recommended daily value of vitamin B6? I’m especially not allowed to take that much cause of the whole pregnancy thing. I’m supposed to take not more than 25mg at a time and not more than 75mg in a day per the OB clinic here. The point is: why are vitamins so often only available in stupid proportions? The real point is: I feel awful and I can’t do anything about it. The good news is they say they sickness typically peaks around 9 weeks – that’s only 2 weeks away But it will end. At some point it must end. Until then I do my best to get through each day eating as much healthy food as I can choke down and try not to rely too heavily on crackers.
And coffee! I love coffee, but at this point I can’t even stand the smell of grounds. A few days ago I just let myself deal with the withdrawal headache because it was more appealing than sipping coffee. This is madness.
Pregnancy
Written February 24, 2015
I started feeling cramps and a little nausea on January 23rd. I immediately suspected I was pregnant. We’d been “trying”, but I still felt caught off guard.
I started feeling cramps and a little nausea on January 23rd. I immediately suspected I was pregnant. We’d been “trying”, but I still felt caught off guard.
After our miscarriage last year and a couple of false alarms this summer, I didn’t want to assume I was pregnant or even really mention anything to L. However, the slight nausea made it challenging to hide. We talked about it a little the week after I started suspecting. I took a test Sunday morning February 1st before L left for a work trip. The test was positive, a great relief. We were very excited, but with the positive result came a new stress – what if I miscarry again?
Miscarrying continues to be a worry, but with as sick as I’ve been feeling it seems like it may be less likely – at least statistically it is. Yep – we nerds do our statistical research. I’ve been sick. Basically I feel badly hungover every day. I’m working on finding solutions. I’m going to try vitamin B6 next. We’ll see how it goes.
Monday, April 6, 2015
The Point
We’re currently keeping my pregnancy a secret. We plan to keep it completely secret from family and friends until week 13 or 14-ish. We also live a long way from our families and from many of our friends. So, the point of all this is to give our friends and family some insight into the first weeks of our pregnancy experience albeit after-the-fact, and (hopefully) some semi-regular updates since we don’t always get to talk to each of you regularly. We hope you enjoy.
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